About Us.

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Essex, United Kingdom
We are a home educating family and we live in Essex. We took our six year old daughter (now 10) out of school September 2005. Our son is 4 years old and will also not being going to school at any point!! This blog was originally started to talk about what we do as a home ed family but over time it has just turned into a general blog which includes our pets, our family and our everyday lives. I guess our home education journey is just us living our lives anyway. If you have any questions or comments please email me at xscrunchee@aol.com

Sunday, 23 November 2008

Dear, dear, dear.

It seems that I jinxed myself yet again. My headache came back!!!!!! That's twice now that I posted on this blog how my headache had gone and both times I was wrong!! lol

Anyway, this time I have left it days before announcing that it has gone-and so far (touch wood) it has stayed gone for a few days.
I am now putting the headache down to stress. I started to notice that if something happened and I felt a little stressed-my head would really hurt. It would be all in my neck and the back of my head but felt more like pressure than actual pain. The pain only occurred if I bent down, tilted my head forward, coughed or sneezed.

I obviously don't handle stress as well as I think I do. lol I am not one to shout, scream, bang things etc. I just try to shrug it off.
I carry on and try to be cheerful even though things might be bothering me.
I suppose not letting things out only makes them show in other ways.

Only problem is, even if it would prevent these headaches-I cannot really change how I deal with things by starting to shout and explode. I wouldn't want to turn into a moany nutter just to stop a headache, plus it really wouldn't be fair on the children. It's bad enough that their Dad is hot headed and rants and raves without me starting to do the same!!! lol

I can not prevent things in life causing me stress so I just need to learn to accept things for what they are and find time to do things which I enjoy.
My Mum suggested turning the music up and having a sing and dance about with the kids every day.
I have been doing this and so far it seems to be helping. By the time we have finished messing about-my headache is pretty much gone. Laughter probably is the best medicine. lol
Will keep you updated anyway and soon I will be posting a picture of Ricks finished tatoo.

My brother Gareth has had problems recently.
Last year he had root canal treatment on a tooth and just recently it has got infected. Apparently the covering on the tooth is not good enough and it has allowed infection in and he has been in a lot of pain.
He went to the dentist who gave him antibiotics but after 3 days his face had swollen even more, he was in a lot of pain and was sweating so much in the night that he had to put towels in his bed.
Mum got him to ring NHS direct yesterday and they got an emergency dentist to phone him back. He was told where to go to see an emergency dentist straight away.
He is now on double strength antibiotics and also some other double strength antibiotics.
Already his swelling is starting to go down a little so thank goodness for that.
It will cost him £250 to get the tooth redone but worth every penny if it stops this happening again!!!

Healthy lot we are eh? lol

Anyway, will post soon with the tatoo pic.
Take care

xx

Monday, 17 November 2008

It hadn't gone :-( But it has now :-)

Well, I thought the headache had gone for good but it hadn't.
Good news is that it has gone now though :-)

Strange really. Have never had a headache like it-nor one that lasted so long!!!! Never mind, I just hope that it will stay gone never to return! lol
If it does-I will have to see a doctor though I think.

Anyway, apart from the headache saga, everything is good here.
The pets are all doing fine.
The children are fine. Liam's behaviour has been left mainly unchecked for the past couple of weeks but that's only because of the stupid headache.

Now I'm back on track-I want to carry on with my positive parenting techniques. It's not easy to stay calm and happy when you are not feeling 100%.
I did notice that at times I was snapping and shouting at him, ignoring what he was doing or just moaning in general.
Everything just went out of the window because all I wanted to do was sleep. Children are not silly and Liam knew that I was not myself and pushed every boundary possible.
Poor Emmie ends up upset because Liam finds it funny to hurt her. He will chase her, hit her, grab hold of her, punch her, etc.

So- let's start again!!!

I am feeling well again now.
Today is a new day and I am going to throw myself into being with my children 100%.

Will post in a few days to let you know what's happening.
Take care

Jay xx

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

WOW-What a headache!!!!!

I am just getting over a nightmare of a headache!
It started last Thursday, just felt like pressure in the back of my head if I bent down.
On Friday it was a bit worse so I took some tablets but they didn't touch it. Saturday it was feeling pretty bad and once again tablets done nothing. 2 Ibuprofen with 2 paracetamols didn't even take the edge off it.
By Sunday my family were starting to get a little concerned so I phoned NHS Direct. They said that it could be some sort of viral infection, tension or a migraine. I had a tiny bit of a fever but only very slightly.
They suggested that I took 2 paracetamols every 4 hours.
I done as I was told but again-the tablets didn't help at all.
By now the pain was all around the back of my head, in my neck and going behind my ears. Bending forward hurt so much that at some points I could have just cried. (Although I didn't, I was brave)! lol
Yesterday was day 6 of the headache and when it started hurting in the morning I decided that it was time for me to go to see a doctor.
I took 2 Ibuprofen and 1 paracetamol and guess what?
After about 45 minutes the pain eased off a fair bit. Can't say that it was gone but it was an improvement!!
So, all day yesterday I just made sure that I took the 2 ibuprofen with 1 paracetamol every 4 hours and I can honestly say that it helped so much. I still had a headache but it was definitely bearable all the time the pills were working.

It is now just gone quarter past 6 on Wednesday morning and so far I have not needed to take painkillers.
I can feel some pressure in my head but not as bad as it has been so I am now hoping that it is coming to an end. I will be keeping my fingers crossed!! lol

There's me trying my new happy parenting techniques and this happens and I feel like a zombie!! lol
Never mind, let's hope that I'm over the worst of it and I can get back into having fun with my children. lol

xx

Monday, 3 November 2008

Parenting

Well, where to begin?? lol
Everyone knows that being a parent is hard work. I would also like to say that it is the best job in the whole world, but hard because there is no right or wrong. No rule book telling you what you have to do in each situation-so it's trial and error, but how scary is that? Trial and error at bringing up well balanced, happy children. Mmm, terrifying at times!!

Everyone has an opinion of what is right, what is wrong and how things should be. 100 people have 100 different opinions. Those 100 people all say that their way is best. So, how do you know what to do??

I have tried lot's of different techniques and ways with my children over the years. OH complains that I change the methods and should just stick to one way, but how can you stick to one way if you see or feel that that way isn't working or it just doesn't sit right with you?

Both of my children have been quite challenging. People notice things with Liam more because he is very loud and can be quite aggressive and defiant so his behaviour draws attention.
I find this hard because everytime he acts up you just know that people are judging you as a parent.
If you ignore the behaviour people think you should toughen up, smack, punish. If you do shout, smack, punish-it has little effect and only fuels the situation so then you are still left standing there looking like you have no control of your own child. Sadly-people judge. They always have and always will. The hardest lesson to learn is to go with what you want to do regardless of how other people view you.

Now, Liam is a kind, caring, loving, funny little boy. He makes me laugh everyday-truly.
He is great fun to be around and has a fantastic sense of humour. However, like I said before-his behaviour can be shockingly bad.
I blame it on the way he is being bought up!! lol lol ;-)

Bearing in mind that he is only 3 and a half years old so it's not really too terrible-but it can be hard when he is hurting Emmie or running about screaming for no reason other than to be heard or when he is rude or defiant to my family.
Strictness doesn't really work with him. It seems that the stricter I am-the more he will push.
When his Dad is at home I would say that his behaviour is 50 times worse but me and his Dad have completely different ideas on child rearing, what is considered bad behaviour, how to play with children, so it's not surprising that Liam gets confused.
He is very violent towards his Dad. He hits him repeatedly and finds it funny.
He doesn't do it out of temper-just for fun. It doesn't matter how angry his Dad gets-Liam will keep on and on unless I am the one to tell him to stop and find a distraction for him.

His Dad used to smack him on the leg for being violent but this would only make Liam hit harder or get so angry that he would shout at the top of his voice.
I have come to the conclusion that teaching a child to not be violent cannot always be taught with acting violently towards the child.
Makes sense really-hitting a child for hitting. Smacking them and saying that it is wrong to smack. Mixed messages!
Some children would learn to stop hitting through the fear of getting hit themselves, but I would much rather my own children learn to not hit because it is unkind.
Just my opinion anyway.

I have hated everytime I have ever smacked my children for any reason.
I read something the other day which rang very true. In society, children are the only people we can legally hit!!

I have read many books on parenting and different methods. I think that the main thing that I have learned is to go with what I think is right.
I am going to try not to beat myself up about the things I think I have done wrong and instead just concentrate on the here and now.
Changing the way I react to different situations. Stopping and thinking before shouting and moaning. Using distraction techniques instead of punishment. Showing constant love instead of anger and dissapointment.
I have been doing this for a very short while and can already see that there are tiny improvements. Although it is not easy to change the way you think and it is hard not to flare up or snap all of the time-but like anything, practice makes perfect.

Since his Dad has stopped smacking him for hitting-he hits a lot less. The more I am kind to him when he is raging with anger, the softer my voice, the more loving I am-the less his temper has been flaring and when it does, he calms quicker and is affectionate afterwards rather than verbally abusive and hostile.

We have also banned violent or aggressive TV programmes at home. Even shows such as Tom and Jerry cause him to copy. The more children are exposed to violence the more they become desensitised to it I believe.

It is certainly going to be a long journey but one filled with love and joy.
Both of the children are reacting positively from the more gentle discipline. Emmie has never taken harsh discipline very well. She can get upset very easily and always internalises things so even if she doesn't show much of a reaction at the time- 2 weeks later she might mention it and get upset which means that it has been on her mind, eating away at her the whole time.

Both children are highly sensitive-they just show it in different ways but they both react very strongly to harshness whether it is shown outwardly with bad behaviour or kept inside and causes worry and stress.

I will see how things work out and regardless of whether or not OH approves of me keep changing things-I will until I am happy that my children and myself are happy.

I will leave it here for now as this has turned out longer than I expected and I have had to skim over things just so that it doesn't get too long. I think I could go on about this and all the things I have read and learned for hours but I'll shut up now!! lol

Thanks for reading ;-)

xx

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Halloween


Thought I'd pop on and show you the childrens pumpkins.
Emmie really enjoyed carving her one but Liam found the inside of the pumpkin repulsive and didn't really want to touch it. lol
They wore a little halloween make up but didn't dress up or go trick or treating to Nanny's house.
We have done it a couple of times and we only ever knock next door at Elaines house, my Mums and my Grandads as I don't really agree with trick or treating but felt sort of like a miserable Mummy not letting the children do it when everyone else seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.
I have now decided that I feel more comfortable being a 'meany' than allowing something to happen which goes against my principles so we will now go back to not trick or treating!! lol
Both of my children are quite sensitive and do not really enjoy the whole scare factor of halloween anyway. They even gave their pumpkins nice names-we had Lovely and Lizzie.
They wanted them to have nice faces, not scarey or horrible. lol Bless them both.
I must admit, I don't really enjoy the feeling of being scared myself. Not exactly an adrenalin junkie me. I don't enjoy scarey films, I never go on scarey funfair rides-in fact I never go to funfairs full stop!! lol Don't find them fun! lol
Would much rather watch a comedy than a horror so I can hardly blame the children for not liking being frightened. No doubt people will think that I have made them 'too sensitive' or whatever but I disagree. I have not made them anything in particular, I have just not subjected them to things which they do not like in the hope of toughening them up!! ;-)
They are not desensitised to things and I am happy with that.
In a little while I will be putting a post on here briefly explaining my parenting journey which I have been taking recently.
The highs and lows, ups and downs.
The way it was and the way it is now. The mistakes I feel I have made and how I am going to be doing things differently from now on.
Chat soon
xx

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